Sleep…

Everyone sleeps. The new clothes are washed and set out for tomorrow. The
pencils are sharpened. The new shoes are still new-looking. The backpacks have
been set by the door. The kids are dreaming of a new school year. The Dad is
asleep probably dreaming about peace in the house. And here I am. The Mom awake
and full of adrenaline. I want to sleep. I want to dream. I just looked in on
the kidlets. How sweet they look. I stood over them and smiled. And
thought….If it’s not too much to ask of the Big Guy Upstairs, I am asking that
they have a good year. They deserve it. And let’s face it…this Mom needs some
sleep!
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So not ready for this…

I am still in denial that school starts
tomorrow. The whines are already being heard around the house. “I am not ready.
I have more to do. I didn’t play enough. I didn’t go to beach enough. I wasn’t
able to have as many fun days as I wanted. I am scared that I may not know
enough to do well this year. What if no one wants to be my friend this year and
come over and play? I am not ready for homework and reports and projects! What
if I don’t have everything that I was supposed to have for the first day of
school??” And those are just comments by me. The kids are fine. Yes, I am
obsessing. Yes, I am worrying way more than I need to. And yes, I need a life.
No wait…I need more summer!
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And playing the role of The Mom….

So, I
took the boys to see Freaky Friday today. I am not sure if they wanted to see it
or not, but I really did. (I sort of put it to them like this: “Mom is going to
go see Freaky Friday. You may go or you may stay, but I am leaving at 1:00pm.” I
guess they wanted to go, too, seeing as they were in my car when I went to
leave.) I liked the original movie. I loved this one! There was not one moment
where I didn’t believe that Jamie Lee Curtis was actually the teen in the mom’s
body. She owned that part. No way it would’ve been the same movie without her.
Lindsay Lohan was awesome as well. My boys said it was “okay, for a chick
movie.” (And yes, for the record, I did cry. I am such a sap! But the Mom beside
me did too. So at least I wasn’t the only one embarrassing her kidlets.) Here is
what got me. I vividly remember the original. I remember when I saw it back in
the 70’s, I understood and related to the teenager. “You’re ruining my life. You
could never survive a day in my life. You don’t understand what it is like to be
young.” Today, I watched it and *gasp* I related to the Mom! The multi-tasking,
trying to do the right thing, going a thousand different directions at one time
and (confession time) thinking that it really couldn’t be that hard to be the
kid. Oh, how that realization hit me. I am The Mom. Shhh, please don’t tell
anyone. (Not that anyone would believe you anyway.) Am I the only Mom who feels
that way? Do other Moms suddenly stop in their tracks and think “I am somebody’s
mother??” Well, even if you don’t, there are days when it just shocks the hell
out of me. Let’s just hope I am faking it well enough that the kidlets think I
know what I am doing. I mean, hey, if I am playing the role of The Mom well
enough to fool them, then I am doing good enough to keep the job title. I am The
Mom.
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Back to school terror…

Yesterday was our school’s big Back to School
Event. All of The Moms were there. It was one of the most stressful days I’ve
had since, well, since I was going back to school. My stomach hurt wondering if
my kids would get the teachers they wanted. Would they get the best teacher for
them? Would their friends be in their classes? Better yet, would the kids who
are the bullies not be in their classes? What if they were miserable? What
if…? What if…? What if…? It made me wonder if I am the only Mom who goes
through this. Do we ever outgrow the back to school panic that we had when we
were the ones going back to school? Several of The Moms gathered to compare
notes. It turns out that for one reason or another, we were all a bit freaked
out. We all had nerves. We all wondered if the kids would have a good year. None
of us slept well the night before either. We jointly made up a game plan to
conquer these nerves. Monday, the first day of school, we are going out for
margaritas for lunch. It may not help our kids, but we are pretty sure it will
help The Moms.
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My latest obsession…

Okay, confession time. I have a new
obsession. I want these guys to come to my house. I need them to come to me. In
fact, I am trying to figure out how to pull off becoming a straight guy just so
they can work their magic on me. Let’s face it, straight men are not the only
ones who have not been blessed with the talent to pull of the ideal wardrobe, be
the perfect chef, decorate my home to the nines, get the ultimate make-over and
still have the social graces to charm the best of them. I admit it. I am the
perfect straight guy. Well, except for the fact that I love men and I have no
penis. Other than that, I am the perfect candidate for the show. Mental note: In
the future, rethink admitting to being the perfect straight guy before stating
it in a public forum. It just doesn’t seem the same in print as it sounded in my
head. I watched like a marathon of this show this week. I have to tell you, I am
jealous as hell of the guys who get these fab make-overs. I am thinking of
protesting and asking them to make an acception to their “straight guy” rule.
Can you picture it with me? “This weekend on an all new “Queer Eye for the The
Straight Guy”, a shocking new twist: The Fab 5 work their magic on one of their
most challenging subjects yet…a woman. Can they take this hopeless,
anti-Martha soccer mom and make her the new Darling of the PTA? Catch an all new
episode this weekend.” It could happen. Does anyone know the email address to
apply? Oh honeyyyy…….
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Such skill

The thing about this guy. He probaby fell
on his ass and couldn’t get up and THEN he discovered he had a skill. Or what
about this woman? Did she just really get surprised one day and realize she
could do this? I am constantly amazed by the things that make people famous
these days. Don’t even get me started on Reality TV!
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Hear that school bell ringing?

It’s that time again. School is starting. We have less than a week to go.
But, who’s counting. Okay, I am. Not for the reasons you may think. I am going
to miss the boys. We have so much fun together. They are my playmates. Yes, I
know I need to get out more. I just really have had fun this summer. Yesterday I
went to the school to get the “Back to School” packets together. We were all
hoping to find out which teachers our kids have this year. But the principal
decided not to put the labels on the packets this year like they have every
year. Bummer. I had a terrible experience one year with a teacher and have from
then on have become quite….”involved” with my kids teachers. I am not going to
sit back during my kids’ schooling. In fact, I am a chairman of 2 different
committees this year. (Or is politically incorrect to say chairMAN? Is it
supposed to be chairperson? Chairlady? Chairparent?) Whatever. I am in charge.
So, here we go. We are going to go from talk of the swimming pool to talk of the
PTA, homework and schedules. Let the games begin.
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