Right now…

First, I apologize for the last piece being a review.  From now on all reviews will be on my review blog only. I made commitments and I will finish them up but after that I can’t say where things will go. I am not quitting. I can’t imagine that. I just don’t have it in me. It’s not depression. It’s not a hissy-fit.  It’s not anger or frustration with blogging. I guess I just wanted to share with someone. It’s just life taking me by the throat and squeezing tight. I can’t breathe. And I really need to breathe.

Right now...

Right now, life is kicking my ass.

Right now, medical issues are beating down my son. (And the school is beating down on us.)

Right now, I cannot remember the last time I didn’t have a headache or a day without pain.

Right now, I don’t want to be around anyone and yet I can’t stand the loneliness.

Right now, I miss being me and feeling like me.

Right now, I don’t want to write. Anything. Anywhere. At all.

Right now, it takes everything in me to get up everyday with the pain & fatigue.

Right now, I have one foot on ice and the other on a banana peel heading for a slip.

Right now, I’m too tired to care.

Right now, I don’t want you to worry.

Right now, I do know I’ll be okay and this is just temporary.

Right now, I just really can’t deal with…

Right now.

 

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11 Comments

  1. I know you said you’ll be okay, and I know I’m just a random reader/twitter follower, but I really feel for you. I’ve had/am having lots of those same thoughts and feelings in my own life…so your post really spoke to me.

    I’m wishing that all that is “right now” resolves itself very soon, so you can be more you again. Please know you’re not alone – and know your readers care!

  2. Oh no! It sounds like right now sucks.

    Right now, I m thinking positive thoughts for you Jenn.

    I don’t know if I’ve ever told you, but I have MS and I’ve lived through long cycles of pain and fatigue. It’s probably of no help what so ever, but I’ve been there. I’m here for you now 🙂

    Xo

  3. Ditto!

    We love hearing from you and we’re here FOR you. And, for what it’s worth, I’m with ya. I don’t want to do shit. Although my lack of motivation, I think, is just laziness rather than medical, which, Hello! you’re sick. Sleep, do what you need to do, and sleep some more. Take a pass on the rest for now.

    xoxo

  4. Just wanted to say “hang in there” – that sounds so trite, but i just want to convey my thoughts of support and well wishes for you. take baby steps; like the above-poster said, just do what needs to be done, one step at a time, and you will make it through and come out the other side. one step at a time.

  5. I just wanted to add that you are loved by a lot of people you’ve never seen in person, including me, and we are here to support you in any way we can. Take care and hold on. We’re rooting for you and your family!

  6. I’m sorry Jenn, Right Now can be such a Bitch sometimes. I hope it helped, even a little bit, to let it out here. Sending good vibes for a better days ahead.

  7. Hey Jenn

    I met you at Blogher LT event. I loved your spirit and humor. Ups and downs are all part of life — no matter how much the downs suck.

    hang in there —
    steph h
    livefitandsore.com

  8. You do need to breathe. *hugs* Right now, take care of what needs taking care of. The rest is here when you’re ready.

  9. Hope things start turning around for you real soon Jenn! I know we don’t each other real well, but I’m always around on the blogging world if you need any help or just words of encouragement!

  10. I’m not going to say anything you haven’t heard or don’t already know. Those ‘right nows’ come and go. Sometimes they just hang out a little longer than necessary.

    But, tons of thanks for helping me see I’m not the only one who goes through some funky times.

    Funky is better together.

  11. Jenn,
    I understand how you feel and having some good friends with MS, understand how it can kick your butt sometimes. I’m thinking of you and sending good energy your way. I also am fighting some highly stressful moments and your blog hit a note.
    Your blog is one of the reasons I started myself. Another mom talking about life made me realize there was a release for me.
    Thanks! Hope you feel better soon.

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