So, I am supposed to write about something I have to forgive someone for.
I did that. Several times. In fact, I have three entire posts sitting in my drafts folder.
This morning I got up and read them only to realize they felt forced. It didn’t feel like it was from my heart. Then I realized why. The things I wrote about– the things I “feel I need to forgive someone for” aren’t there anymore. I’ve already forgiven them. I don’t know when it happened, but it did.
Let me explain. I don’t think it is okay to hurt someone, know you hurt them and gloat about it. I don’t think it is okay to taunt, gossip or tear down someone and hide behind “she deserves it” or “I am better than she is” because that is not right either. We even teach our children that is wrong. When I hear about that, it bothers me to the extent that I cannot understand adults who cannot move on. But not forgiving someone who isn’t a part of your life anymore? Well, that only seems to hurt myself not them.
However, when it comes to anger and forgiveness, I am not in a place where I can afford to hold onto anger or harbor feelings in situations where I know I need to forgive someone for an act (or acts) that hurt me. If I have something to forgive you for, you can rest assured I already have. It is a way of life I accepted twice in my lifetime. First when I became a Christian and second when I realized that as a recovering addict I had to follow a plan to stay sober and sane. That plan was the 12 steps. Forgiving you (anyone I feel has wronged me) is necessary and vital for me.
Really? She is going all AA on us?
Yes, I am. It saved my life. It saved my marriage. It saved my family. And it damn sure will save me from bullies or people who have hurt me or want to try to continue to hurt me.
I’ve moved on.
I hope you can, too.
So, to anyone who has wronged me or to those whom I feel have wronged me, I forgive you. I already did a long time ago. I hope you reach that point someday.