Did I have you at hello?
I know my posts have been a bit sparse lately. But I had to bring to you a matter of national importance. Okay, not national but local. Okay, not local but it is important to me. Does that count? Of course it does. Help me, help you. Well, really, it would just be you helping me in this case but then in return I could totally help you. Really! I promise on a stack of stupid, dead batteries because that is all I have in my house right now.
Let me start this begging post by saying I have never missed a BlogHer. I was there when it was tiny and we could all fit into one restaurant and have seen it grow to thousands in just a matter of years. That is the power of women and the Interwebs, people. When we want something, we get all charged up about it! (See what I did there?) The truth of the matter is that finances have totally sucked the ever living life out of us these past few months. Though I registered for BlogHer waaaaayyyyy back in…well, before it sold out is all I remember…. I am looking at the real possibility of not being able to attend. (You should be hearing the weeping, moaning and the violins about now.)
You see, the old school blogger in me was all like “Sponsors? How do you do that?” and the trying-to-stay-hip blogger was all like “Yeah, man, you can actually ask people to send you and they will help pay AND you get to be their spokesperson like Billy Mayes only more-so and alive.” The old school blogger is still all, “Whoa.”
Then I read about Barefoot Mommies and Energizer giving away a scholarship for BlogHer. Not just a little scholarship but a big honkin’ $2000 scholarship to TWO bloggers. The old school blogger in me just flat out fainted. The trying-to-stay-hip blogger was all “Try it you old fart! It is your only shot at going at this point!” So in the spirit of explaining why I should be the one to be chosen over ever other person flooding Twitter with begs, I shall explain why I am a super Energizer ChargHER BlogHer blogger choice. (Besides the fact I can say that out loud without my brain exploding.)
You see, at the first BlogHer, I (along with two other amazing bloggers) was able to charge up a room (See what I did there again?) of people about the most dreaded topic of ’05: Mommybloggers. Oh, yes, we were the bottom of the foodchain, the pondscum of the blogs, the….well, you get it. Yes, I along with my panelists let the battle cry charge for respect for the Mom(my) Blogger. Now, PR professionals and marketing reps are coming to us. To pay. For us. To go. To BlogHer. I’d like to think I had a hand in that. (Of course, Al Gore think he invented the Internet so….)
Energy? Oh, I have energy but could always use a charge. But even alone, I can hug a statue to life. It’s true. Look:
But it isn’t just energy I can bring to the table, I can bring great networking skills. Mad networking skillz. In fact, I am not above jumping into a hot tub fully clothed to meet someone and tell them all about whatever it is I want to because face it, when you see someone plummeting towards you in a hot tub, you tend to listen.
But those can be the easy talks. You have a captive audience while in a hot tub or talking to an inanimate statue. They tend to listen. However, when I am all charged up (like the Energizer® Recharge Smart™ Charger) I will go into battle for the message and not be afraid to come out beaten and bruised to make my point. Just look at the battle scars I am willing to endure for a cause. (Of course, I would never cause this to anyone to share my message or give away a USB charger. I am too nice for something like that!)
My point is this: If you really want someone with SUPER high energy to tell people about the Energizer® Recharge Smart™ Charger, I am totally your girl! People think that it is the coffee that makes me so high energy. Well, there is some truth to that and the Diet Coke, but mainly, I just love people. Meeting people. Seeing old friends. Talking about things I am passionate about- well, actually talking about everything.
So why am I a good fit for this scholarship/Gift from the Energizer gods above? Well, let’s just compare, shall we?
The Energizer® Recharge Smart™ Charger features a large LCD screen with a countdown clock displaying remaining charging time and a fuel gauge indicating the current level of power in the inserted NiMH rechargeable batteries. It also features a slow charge rate, which extends the number of battery life cycles.
Me? Well, I don’t have a large LCD screen with a countdown clock but I have a big mouth that can share information. (Maybe I should look into getting one of those LCD screens with a countdown to warn people when my batteries are low, too.) I do have fuel gage but it isn’t one you can see. It is more like one you can sense when my energy is down. It is then you know it is time to recharge the Jenn. I, too, have a slow recharge to last longer. (A nap.) Or a quick charger. (Diet Coke or coffee.)
Oh, honey, if you know me, you know that I can automatically detect a bad battery (or in my case a bad cup of coffee) when trying to recharge. I can also tell if someone has tried to slip me another diet soda that is not Diet Coke and that just doesn’t work with me. Much like a dead battery won’t work for my toys.
I am meant to be combined with this amazing product. I have 3 kids. We go through batteries almost as fast as we go through toilet paper. Every grocery shopping list always has batteries on it. (Of course, I usually forget to get them, but that is a totally different story!) I know batteries. I know how frustrating it is when batteries die or you think you hit the jackpot with a new battery only to find that some rude kid in the house put a BAD battery back into the junk drawer. (What? You have a just drawer, too!) Energizer Recharge Smart Charger & I are meant to be together. We have so much in common! And? I have tried other ways to recharge batteries my own way. Let me just be the first to tell you that dunking a battery into a cup of coffee to give it a charge (like I get from coffee) just doesn’t work. Don’t try that at home, kids. The Energizer people have a way better method than I do, for sure!
See? We even color coordinate! We are the perfect match!
The bottom line is this: I want to go to BlogHer so much it hurts. I have never missed and the thought of missing this year breaks my heart. (When less than a dozen people have ever missed and it would be awesomely cool to keep this track record going to support BlogHer and continue to be an active part of this conference.) This is my one shot left. I do hope I am chosen as a Energizer Smart ChargHER ! You know you want me. I know I want you. Let’s make it official and join us in a union that just may be illegal in at least 38 states but I am willing to risk it to be paired up for BlogHer with Energizer. I am a risk taker, people.
Because let’s face it, after the year I have had, I so desperately need a rechargHER in my life.
(This is where the dramatic yet poignant music plays that tugs at your heart strings after making you laugh and tells your heart and your head to pick me! So you do.)
See you at BlogHer10. Right? I’ll be the one in the Energizer shirt. (I hope!)
Disclaimer: I did tweet about this contest several times. However, as much as I need and want this, I couldn’t flood Twitter with requests. I have built up a reputation with my follows- both friends and business associates- that I do not want to ruin with a flood of tweets asking for help when it may risk the relationships I have worked so hard to build. I have tweeted, will tweet more and hope that it is enough that I do want and need this but as much as I do, I fear that PR people, friends and business associates would be insulted if that was the majority of my twitter stream. I hope this doesn’t effect my chances at winning and I do hope that the amazing mommies at Barefoot Mommies will understand how I have to protect my brand.
If you want to help you can go on Twitter and tweet or RT (retweet) this: I think @javajenn should be a $2000 #BlogHer10 sponsorship courtesy of #energizer & @BarefootMomma http://bit.ly/9b01we Please!
Thanks for any help.
Oh, and if you just stumbled here and were thinking, “Hey, this woman is funny and should really go to BlogHer, I totally want to sponsor her because it looks like that sad sack has absolutely no sponsors at all!” Feel free to contact me. 😉