Clean-up on Aisle 4! Crazy lady peed!

I know better than to go to the store late at night. The check-out staff is down to one or two or you are stuck with the horrid U-Scan piece of torture. But, alas, I had to go pick up things that they kids simply HAD TO HAVE by morning.

However, apparently I chose to check out at just the wrong time.

You see, the checkout stand right beside me had big drama going on. And by big drama I mean, there was great dispute over a 35 cent coupon. Was it a double coupon? A triple coupon? Can we take this? Oh the severity of the situation! It took 4 checkers and an assistant manager to try to figure out the problem.

Which of course was of great interest to the woman checking me out. She did not care one bit that I was standing there. She was so focused on the BIG DRAMA of the coupon issue, she heard nothing I said to her.

Our conversation went about like this (as she only looked at the other checker and not at all at me):

Checker: Do you have your club card?

Me: You are holding it.

Checker: I can wait.

Me: Sure here you go. See! Right there in your hand. I am so good! Score! (Sarcasm beginning to hit a high point for me.)

Checker: (while oh so busy fretting over the coupon caper DRAMA): So, ma’am, did you find everything you needed?

Me: Actually, no. I couldn’t find your bathrooms so I PEED on Aisle 4.

Checker: I’m sorry. Did you need a raincheck for that?

Me: Nope. Totally took care of the situation then and there and feel much better now.

Checker: Good. Glad we could help.

That was really our conversation. Now, the line was about 7 people deep and the woman behind me was about to literally wet her pants laughing. All this time the checker was oblivious.

But really? Totally worth the laugh to mock her. As I left she gave the standard, “Come again!” to which I replied, “Didn’t come the first time, but here’s to hoping for the next time!” She just nodded at me and told me to have a good night.

Gotta love that customer service!

39 Comments

  1. You know, that whole checker experience sounds very familiar to the way they interact around here. Good grief.

    And that has got to be the funniest post ever.

  2. What a great story. I often wish I had the nerve to do something like that.

    Kudos!

  3. I almost peed just hearing about it. Thanks for the laugh.

  4. hahahahahahaha – Brilliant!

  5. OMG. ditto what merlotmom said.

  6. Coupon drama. I made the mistake of shopping on the first Tuesday at the grocery yesterday. They actually bus in the elderly. Park the bus almost directly in front of the doors. The check-outs are three to five deep and I always end up behind the old lady who thinks she should be able to get the 10% discount and the 10x the Air Miles. It only took one shift manager 10 minutes to talk her into submission (though she grumbled under her breath about it the whole way out of the store).

    This is a small town. People actually pay attention to you when you speak. The only place where you’d get that kind of cluelessness is Tim Horton’s or McDonald’s. At Tim’s generally there is only one person with a working knowledge of English on shift at any given moment and at McDonald’s the workers range from 12 to 18 years old age.

  7. OMG that is hysterical! I love it! And ditto what merlotmom said. πŸ™‚

  8. That is so funny and sad at the same time. I wonder if she ever caught on. At least the people in line behind you were entertained.

  9. You did not. Shut. Up. You did not.

    Oh, I love you just that little bit more, crazy peeing lady.

  10. THAT is too funny and i must remember that next time it happens to me…… Awesome! πŸ™‚

  11. Man, if I had a dollar for every time I’ve peed in the grocery aisle…

  12. Saw your sad Twitter comment, came to say, “I think you are wonderful, screw the meanies!”

  13. I think we have this week’s perfect post.

  14. Oh my gosh, that’s so funny. I can’t imagine having the balls to do that. Way to go. I hate drone workers!

  15. Cassie-B, Kel JUST DO IT! Mess with people who deserve it.. But, go big, you’re only on this planet once and if God didn’t want us to mess with other people, he would have recalled the stupid and apathetic a very long time ago!

    On a more threadworthy note, Kroger closes the Uscan at 10:00pm The ONLY reason I go shopping at Kroger after 10:00 is so I don’t have to interact with store people. Yet, at the end of my very blissful shopping experience, I gotta stare at a cashier whose high point of the day is to tell me what a miserable shift she is having..

    At least she talks to me. And there is rarely any peeing involved. But, there is commenting on what I buy, so I always mess with her by buying w can of whipped cream and a box of condoms… or a squirt bottle of chocolate and condoms… hehehehehehe… so easy… so much fun…

    G. and yeah, I’m a dude hanging in a mommy blog… wanna make something of that? πŸ™‚

  16. Sarcasm is totally lost on some people.

    Fortunately some of the other shoppers got it.

  17. That is really comical. How funny that she did not even hear a word you said. I like that the lady behind you totally got it and was laughing.

  18. The checker is probably hearing impaired and doesn’t know it. She might have been told in the past that she’s missing a lot, but remains in denial. I am hearing impaired, and I know there are times when the hearing aids just don’t catch everything. It does, however, add humor to my life. I love your story; I can totally believe it!

  19. Daisy: Trust me. She was not hearing impaired at all. I have checked out with her numerous times. It was all about not paying attention to me but to the Big Coupon DRAMA on the next aisle over. She barely turned around to look at me she was so busy putting her nose in that business.

    If for a moment I thought she was hearing impaired, I never would have been so blatant in trying to get her attention.

    You can tell when someone is just ignoring you. That is what she was doing.

  20. You are fabulous! Love it. That’s true Texas wit for you πŸ™‚

  21. Oh. My. Gosh. I’m going to die from laughter. Strangely, I can almost picture you in the store, saying this stuff. Hah.

  22. Hilarious. I would have loved to be in line behind you!

  23. OMG that’s hilarioous! If only I had the nerve to say something like that if i’m ever in that situation!

  24. Reading this I just peed in Thomas’ roundhouse. Hubby should find it in a week or two.

    He pays about as close attention to what I say to him as that checker. Score to you too for making the rest of the line laugh.

  25. I laughed so hard my stomach hurts. Thanks! I needed the abs workout. I’ve been neglecting them lately.

    Pure brilliance!

  26. Me too, tells me great things about your personality.

    Good job..

    My best,
    Dorothy from grammology
    remember to call gram
    http://www.grammology.com

  27. Oh. My. Gosh.

    That is some seriously funny stuff right there.

  28. Pingback: Sunday Monday Linky Love | The Bean Blog

  29. can i pls line up behind u next time?

  30. OMG, I am peeing myself reading this. That lady was totally clueless.

  31. That was great! THanks for the laugh. I would never say something like that. but my hubby would.

  32. That’s quite funny, but what do you expect? Try being a cashier and see how long you’ll be able to pretend you’re interested in the next arsehole on the queue. No you definately are not as important or interesting as you think. None of us are.

  33. That is hillarious! I almost peed while reading it! lol

  34. ha ha ha. I wish I had’ve been there. I would’ve peed my pants laughing.

  35. OMG. That is so funny. Good for you. There would have been a lot of clean up in the check out aisle if I had been behind you in line.

  36. That is hilarious. I would have totally peed myself if I had been in line behind you.

  37. most likely, she did not find you funny & did not have it in herself to humor you. also, it was the end of her shift & her mind was elsewhere. she is a human being, after all. get over yourself.

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