As the days of summer dwindle down to a close, we have been filling them with “fun” and “exciting” things to do to make up for the “nothingness” and “boring” things that filled our (longer than normal for us) summer. Many of which make my teen roll his eyes to such an extreme they truly might stick that way. A few of which include the following.
1. Insisting on naming a GPS after a 70 year-old hooker. And then never stopping with the jokes when we are in the car listening to her tell us where to go. (More than once, she, too, was told where to go when her directions are not so accurate. I have no sense of direction, Matilda! You must be accurate with these things!)
2. Singing off key, off pitch and way out of control with the karaoke feature of Boogie. While gyrating around the room and singing my very best (also known as most horrific) rendition of “You’re the One That I Want” from Grease. He actually said that eating his own face would be less painful. (But yet he stayed and watched. Probably in horror. But he stayed.)
3. Getting my funky on while driving. No, I amend that to getting my funky on while driving and listening to Radio Disney while Hannah Montana was singing. ( “Moooooooom! You are not in an invisible car. People can see you!” To which I replied, “I don’t know them. I don’t care!” Then proceeding to get my funky on. With more funk.)
4. Taking all three kids to see the Simpsons Movie and eagerly proclaiming, “I want to see that!” and then “Ohhhh, I really want to see that one!” to just about every movie preview that was shown. THEN I had the nerve to laugh at the funny parts of the movie. OUT. LOUD. People heard me! So rude of me. I know. Oh, and then singing the Spider Pig song All. Day. Long.
5. Watching a scene in Wild Hogs and then picking up and continually using the phrase, “Because sometimes you just have to slap the bull!” and taking a quick shot at his arm. He was not amused. I laughed until I snorted. More than once. (That one will last a while.)
6. Planning with much glee and probably a lit bit too enthusiastically a High School Musical II viewing party. With singing. And dancing. And much anticipation. (He is horrified. Which, as you know, makes it all the more fun.)
So, see, I am being productive as the summer winds down. I am making my son long to be in school to avoid the humiliation that is his MOM. (Little is he aware that I will be volunteering in the school and will be bringing my fun brand of crazy there, too!)