Tonight I had one of my World Famous Anxiety Attacks. (Stop by the gift shop and pick up your souvenir mugs and hats–sponsored by the makers of Xanax.) I am talking about one of those chest constricting, can’t breathe, coming out of my skin type of anxiety attack. What was I doing when it kicked into high gear?
Filling out back to school paper work for the kids.
I am not going back to school. I do not have to take tests, write papers or deal with peer pressure. I will still be working at home. Just with less little people around.
I have a manuscript deadline and article deadlines that don’t give me anxiety attacks. I have people who need things from me everyday who do not give me anxiety attacks. Yet one night of filling out back to school paper work had me completely freaked out.
Is it because I am signing back on with the Stepfords again? Is it because I am volunteering in both schools this year? Is it because I thoroughly enjoy my kids’ company and really do not want them to go back to school? (Yes, I am serious. Read back at most of my back to school entries. I hate when they go back after a long time at home.)
I want to be involved with the kids and their education.
I want to be a presence in the schools–known and knowing who’s who.
I want to help out.
I do not feel like I have signed on to do too much. To be honest, I almost feel as if I
need to should do more. (And we all know that is not the right decision. I am right where I should be on what I have committed to do.)
I filled out paperwork and had an anxiety attack that registered off the charts. (If these things were registered in some way.)
What. The. Hell.
Yep. That pretty much sums it up.