In order to try to get myself into more of a frame of mind of meditation and less stress (and since many of you commented that my new back to work schedule is not so much doing that), I decided to try some old (and I mean OLD) DVD’s on yoga and meditation. I thought I would start easy. I am ready. This is cool. It’s all good.
Then Miss Spandex Never Seen Cellulite So What Could She Be Stressed About comes on my screen. No problem. I can stay motivated. She tells me to slowly reach down and touch my toes. No problem.
“Hi there, toes! Long time no see! We’ll be seeing a lot of each other over the next few weeks.“
Oops. Now it is time to slowly reach up skyward and stretch out that spine.
Reaching I look up in contemplative meditation.
“Holy crap! When was the last time I dusted that ceiling fan? There is enough dust to create a third world dust bunny country. Must do something about that.“
Now back to the toes.
“When was the last time I got a pedicure. And whose idea was it to paint toes that color? Hideous. I must find my date book and pencil in a mani/pedi!“
Back to skyward. (So far, not so much relaxing.)
“Is that a crack in the ceiling. When did we get the foundation checked? Oh crap, if we have foundation problems, that will suck. I have to remember to call Clint and talk to him about that.“
“This carpet is awful. When are we finally going to get hardwood floors? And why do I have to keep touching my toes? It’s not like they are going anywhere without me.“
And stretch up.
Screw it. I stretched my way to the remote control to watch my Tivo’d Grey’s Anatomy and then walked my in-need-of-a-pedicure toes to the kitchen for a pint of Ben & Jerry’s “Everything But The…”
On the bright side, I did sit in the lotus position while eating my ice cream and watching Grey’s Anatomy. Does that count?