Okay, seriously, whoever wished a pox upon my house, please unpoxify it. Please. I will pay you. I came up with a new goal last December. To make it through ONE WEEK that is normal. Normal being defined as no vomit, strep, phone calls from nurses at school demanding me to pick up my fever ridden child, or anyone needing the ER, a Doctor or an exorcist. ONE WEEK. And I am not even being picky enough to consider it a 7 day week. I am simply talking about the normal 5 day work/school week.
I have yet to reach my goal. Once, I made it to Thursday! It was so exciting that I made lunch plans with another fanfreakintastic blogger that rocks the Internet, but alas, the pox upon the house descended and I had to cancel. It was almost 2 weeks ago that this new stomach virus set up camp in our house. It went through Brandon, then Gabriella, then Brandon and back to Gabriella but it HAS NEVER LEFT ME! I have not been able to shake it. Is this getting older? Screw that! Give me youth. It comes with better immunity and perky breasts. (And zits and bad hair and teen angst. Nevermind.)
Oh sure, at first it was funny. Ha ha ha let’s see who gets sick this week. Funny now? Not so much. Because it keeps landing ON ME this time. On the “Hey, let’s look for that silver lining in this” I can say that this round has left me 6 pounds lighter. But seriously. Think about it. I have not had kids in school for a full week since before January. If I look, I can probably go back to October. But it wasn’t until January that I made this little goal.
Oh for the love of Lysol what the hell is going on in this house?! So to you who voodooed my ass, I am sorry, already. It was all my fault. I was not so much right in whatever it was that made you say “Curse that woman with much vomiting and diarrhea and fevers and pain”. You win. Unpoxify my house already. (But keep the 6 pounds off. That was awesome!)
I think I seriously frightened my friend when I called her and maniacally laughed and wept at the same time saying, “Guess who is home today! hehehehe Guess. NO REALLY! GUESS NOW! bwhahahhaa Because really, funny stuff here.” I might be off on that, but she did call me with the number of a few psychologists that it “might be a good idea to call SOON.”
So there you have it. A mommy blog (ha ha ha used the word mommy blog) that talked about vomit, diarrhea and a seriously crazy mom. Just what every mommy blog is supposed to be. Although the maniacal laughing and weeping at the same time is probably not standard. Deal.
Sorry. I don’t know what has come over me. But the pox upon the house….it is a killin’ me!