A few weeks ago, Clint and I decided to disconnect our home phone. It was basically just an added expense we don’t need. No one really calls us on the home phone except for bill collecters and telemarketers anyway. (And who wants to talk to them?) We are just fine being whores to our cell phones, thankyouverymuch. I must admit, it has been very peaceful without the phone ringing all the time.
This morning I am sitting at the computer. Everyone in the house is asleep except for me. Ahhhh, that blissful time when the world is quiet and it is just me, my blog reads and my coffee.
The phone rings. YES the home phone that has been disconnected. I believe my first thought was something along the lines of “Oh sweet mother of god in heaven the phone is possessed KILL IT KILL IT NOW!”
And it rang again. Every horror movie I had ever seen flashed through my mind. “Run! He’s calling from INSIDE the house! GET OUT NOW!”
I looked around behind me. Nervously laughed like I knew it was a joke. (Yet, thinking that I probably just soiled my pants anyway.)
I did what any rational person would do at this point and threw a book at the phone.
Oh no you didn’t, Mr Possessed Phone!
So, I got out of my chair. I grabbed the EVIL POSSESSED BY SATAN phone. Walked out of my office, through my kitchen, stepped over Legos and Barbies. I opened my back door, walked outside and set the phone on my outside deck.
Then I hurried back in, slammed the door, locked it and closed the blinds.
Let me tell you something right now, though. I swear by all that is Steven Kingish, if that phone rings outside, it is sledgehammer time!