As we all know, Mother’s Day is coming up in just days. (For those of you who just choked and that was actually news to you, stop reading now. Go to any site that might be able to save your butt and send something to your Mother. Now. We’ll be here when you get back.) For the rest of you, good job for remembering.
When Mother’s Day comes around, there are some women who are not among the celebrating masses. There are some women that they just don’t make a Hallmark card for them. I think about them this time of year…every single year.
When we lost our first son in April of ’92, it was followed by an excruciating Mother’s Day just a month later. I had no idea where I fit in. I was pregnant. I gave birth to a son. I had no baby with me. Was I a Mom? In my heart, of course I was. I just didn’t feel like celebrating. There certainly wasn’t a card for my kind of Mother’s Day. The next year, I was pregant with Kidlet Sr. I was still so very scared, so I pretended that it wasn’t Mother’s Day. There is no card that says “Happy Un-Mother’s Day! Hope you enjoy ignoring the day!” So, 2 years after I had originally planned, I celebrated my first mother’s day like the “other Regular Moms.” I got the Hallmark card that year.
There isn’t a Mother’s Day that goes by that I don’t think about and silently thank the birth mothers of my brother and sister. Did I ever tell you they were adopted? I imagine the women who gave birth to them struggled through more than one Mother’s Day. I think about their sacrifice. Are they mothers? They gave birth. They had children. I don’t think there is a Hallmark card for them either. But their sacrifice touches more lives everyday than they will ever know. I am more thankful than I know how to express. They are special mothers. I am thinking of them.
I have close friends who are struggling with fertility problems. They want more than anything to celebrate Mother’s Day with a child of their own. To get one of those Hallmark cards like the “Regular Moms.” I am thinking of them.
Some Moms struggle everyday to make ends meet and to provide for the best the possibly can for their kids. They are the single moms who don’t have the “other parent” with them to take part of the load. To remind the kids that they should remember Mom and do something special. There are some who even have to pick out and buy their own cards. I am thinking of them.
There are moms whose children are grown up and moved away. She hopes her children remember her this year. She longs for the days that they were little and driving her crazy. She misses the chaos. She would give anything to be with them on Mother’s Day. I am thinking of them.
In the world we live in now, there are moms who are fighting for the freedom of our nation. They are soldiers who are away from their children. Their job takes them thousands of miles away from their babies. They think about the “Regular Moms” who are trying to gag down a “child-made” breakfast. They long to be able to do the same. They are not able to be with with their children on Mother’s Day. They just pray that they get home to them soon. I am thinking of them.
I have a dear friend whose two-year old son died just after his second birthday, just a month before Mother’s Day. She has two other children, but I imagine the pain of the child that was not with her anymore is more than she knows what to do with on this day. I am thinking of her.
I could go on and on with this list. The point is, moms come in all kinds of packages. Hallmark caters to the “Regular Mom.” But lest we forget, there are many kinds of moms.
This Mother’s Day, think of them, too.
I hope all of the mothers out there have a very Happy Mother’s Day.
I am thinking of you.