Do you find that your heart is a bit heavier as we get closer to September 11th?
Yeah, mine is too.
Last week, I registered for an orientation training session for this week. On Thursday. I didn’t think a thing of it until I got my confirmation back.
“I would be happy to add you to the list for the Sept. 11th course. Thanks.”
Wait! Not then. No. Nevermind. I don’t want to be in a classroom on that day.
Do I think something else is going to happen. Not really.
Do I think that it would be disrespectful to be there thinking of something else? Maybe a little. But I know life goes on…and it should.
Do I actually think I will be able to focus on something else and actually learn anything. Not really.
Maybe I just want to be with my family, with the ones I love most in the world. To remember…or maybe to just try not to remember…together.
I still haven’t cancelled. Maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe life should just pause to remember those we lost, but still move forward with passion with those we still have.
I won’t pretend I have the answers for what is “appropriate” or for the “should-do’s” of the anniversary of such an awful day. I don’t. But I will admit I still have a lot of hurt, anger and saddness over what happened on 9/11. Someday it may sort itself out in my heart and mind. Maybe not. Until then, I….like you….will probably just do my best to move through the day the best I can. Heavy heart and all.