Moms of teens don't blog. Oh wait! Yes, we do! So why are we so under represented everywhere?

teens

I have a ten year old. By definition now, she is considered a tween. In addition to her I also have two teenage boys. A senior in high school and a sophomore in high school. Teenagers. Teens. Those who are not babies and not yet adult people. They are those who still live at home.

So where are the websites, resources, and “expert blog sites” for me? Does parenting end at 8 or 9? I proposed this question to someone who was touting their new blog farm as “The Go To Site For Parents of babies, toddlers and beyond!”  But I am guessing “and beyond” means up to 8. (Surprisingly, I got no response when I asked about their huge missing demographic of teens.)

In 2005 I spoke on the first mommyblogger panel at BlogHer. My kids were 10, 8 and 3. Today’s dream demographic for blogs and marketers! There are websites, blogs, magazines etc all dedicated to those ages. But guess what happened. Go on. Guess.

Did you guess they grew up? Bingo. Those kids are now the teens and tween. You see, these adorable babies and toddlers and young grade school kids grow up. And you want want to know what there is out there for the parents of these now older kids.

Not a damn thing. Squat. Nada.

Busymom wrote about it.

Cursingmom wrote about it.

JoanneGlenniaBeth,  Deb, and I sat and talked for hours at BlogHer’11 about how under represented parents of teens are online. How much marketers, magazine blogs and the latest in “blog farms” are missing out by ignoring such a huge demographic. (Trust me when I say I spend a helluva lot more on my tweens and teens than I ever did on the kid toys. WAY more!)

With one post on Busymom’s site commenters (parents of tweens and teens) agreed how sad it is to have such little representation out there.  I am talking about well known, long time bloggers like LizMelisa, Headless Mom, MelissaShannon, Cheryl,  Robyn, Babybloomr…those are just a few moms who piped up in agreement.

A big “argument” about why there are not many sites about teens is because our children no longer want us to write about them.(Your precious little one probably doesn’t you to be writing about them either, but that is a totally different topic.)  I am not talking about writing about their lives like we did when they were children without a voice to tell us to stop. I am talking about resources, advice, support.  When  newborn cries, there are usually only a handful of things that can be wrong. (I know there are exceptions.) With a teenager? Oh for the love of all things moody, hormonal and life changing there could be a million things. But even if it isn’t “What’s wrong?” there are things that we– as parents of teens– would love to have support with.

  • School.
  • Driving.
  • Health.
  • Dating.
  • Parties/gifts.
  • Changing relationships.
  • Jobs.
  • Cars.
  • College.
  • Etc, etc.

Unless you have a support system, you are on your own figuring it out.

I have also heard that marketers are trying to directly hit the teen market rather than go through parents. I call bullshit on that one. Where do they think these teens and tweens are going to get the money? It’s called the bank of Mom and Dad. To try to bypass us is ridiculous. And very, very short sighted. It doesn’t help when a company who is trying to reach out to parents of teens use parents whose children haven’t even hit the double digits as spokespeople. Isn’t that kind of like asking a man to tell  you what labor feels like?

I actually got an email from a PR rep that first mentioned that “even though your kids are still very young….” (tuned out right there) blah blah blah “and I have found there are so few bloggers with teens these days.” The hell? What Internet have you been on. I can give you a list of over 70 and still not have a complete list.

Those little kids on the adorable mommyblogs are going to become tweens and teens. Those adorable little Pampers wearing cherubs will become moody little strangers. Then what?  To quote cursingmama, “The Internet is no place for parents of teens.”

What do you think? Do you want your voice heard? Do you want more resources? Do we storm the gates trying to get the current market to listen or do we do it ourselves?  Just as we had to fight the whole “mommy bloggers aren’t worth our time” situation almost 8 years ago. (Now? They are are holy grail of bloggers. And yes, I am going to say that those who now have tweens and teens did help pave the way to that reality.) Is this our new stand? I’d love to hear from you! Share your blog. Share what you want to see. What do you think about the representation of tweens & teens– or under representation?

If they aren’t able to meet our needs,  do we do it ourselves and pave the way for the Pampers generation to come? Again?

Facebook Twitter Email Pinterest Stumbleupon Tumblr

How email brings friends together again and brings back the laughter!

morning email check

Thank you to Yahoo! Mail for sponsoring this post about staying connected. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.

Email. When you have been blogging as long as I have you tend to get a love/hate relationship with email. On a typical day I receive hundreds of emails.  Some days it can get overwhelming, but some days it can bring people into your life that have been away for so long.  I admit there are times that I have let relationships drift away. In fact, I have let that happen entirely too frequently. Yet, there are times when you least expect it you receive an email that brings you such joy you actually laugh out loud. I am blessed to have friends who can come to me through an email– whether they live down the street or across the county. When I’m really blessed is when old friends are brought back into my life through email.

Take for instance one of my dearest friends from high school. I’ll call him Harvey.  We were kindred spirits.  He was even in my wedding. Time passed and we lost touch. I thought about him often but I had no idea where he was or how to reach him. You see there wasn’t a person on Earth who could make me laugh like Harvey. In fact, people used to be around us just for the laughs. No matter how bad things were, we could laugh.  You know that comedic duo that can just play off of each other all the time? That was the way we were. We hung out on weekends, during school and pretty much anytime we could. Many times I would come home to find him there with my mom laughing and I wasn’t even there. We were just that close.

It had been well over a decade and I had no clue where Harvey was or how he was doing. Time had passed. Life had been lived. I now had three kids and lost my Mom. These are things he should know. He would love to hear about the kids and would remind me how funny Mom always was and how much she loved him. He would laugh at my motherhood predicaments and cry with me over my Mom (if I needed it) but mainly, he would make me laugh just by being the man I adore. I missed Harvey. I really wanted him in my life again.

Then, one day in my Yahoo! email box- as I am scanning through so many emails I need to attend to– I see the subject: “Harvey sends his love!”

I knew it was my dear sweet friend. I immediately replied. That started a chain reaction of emails that kept me laughing, crying and feeling so close to my dear friend. Email brought us together again.  Now, we will send each other emails, chat or just remind each other that we will always be in each other’s lives now that we found our way back to each other.

For that, I am forever grateful to email. Yahoo! mail brought my comedy BFF Harvey back to me.

This video is more about people in love being brought back together, but when Harvey was brought back to his Vicky, all was right with the world again.

 

Facebook Twitter Email Pinterest Stumbleupon Tumblr

Fight the good fight, not the dirty one that hurts your community and your fellow mombloggers!

Rarely do I use my blog to rant and vent when it comes to other bloggers.  However, what I saw go down last week on blogs and on Twitter has me rather irate.  What am I talking about?  I am talking about the #nestlefamily blogger junket.  I watched on Twitter as the chaos and mudslinging occurred.  I stayed out of it.  I know most of the bloggers that attended and I know they do not support “baby killing” as it was so often referred to.  I do understand that many people have issues with Nestle.  I read posts and followed links to see what the firestorm was all about.  I saw the outrage and anger towards Nestle- some backing up their outrage, some just jumping on the bangwagon.

But here is where it went too far:  When other bloggers went as far as to slam, criticize and be downright cruel to the bloggers in attendance. Seriously?  That is just uncalled for when you attack the attendees.  Some of the bloggers were very hurt by the accusations and cruelty thrown their way. And some of this venom was by other blogger they respect(ed).   Did those of you who attacked the bloggers personally approach them in a respectful way or just throw stones?

You see, as one of the pioneers in mommyblogging, I have seen how far we have come.  We were once at the bottom of the blogging ladder.  We were the ones at the back of the list when it came to asking opinions of us or looking to us to educate and inform others about a product or service.  We (including some of the bloggers in attendance) fought hard to gain respect in the world of social media and with corporate America.  It was through our hard work, quality writing and open mindedness that we opened doors to major corporations to reach out to us.  Yes, we opened the door to gain access to these companies.  We earned their respect and therefore they have seen the power mom bloggers have online.  Believe it or not there was a time when there was no such thing as a blogger junket.

I remember one of the first held was Johnson’ s Baby Camp.  Yes, there was a blow up over that one. However, when bloggers were upset, they went to Johnson’s.  I did not see the actual bloggers being attacked personally.  Since then there have been many, many blogger trips to corporations where mom bloggers can learn about the companies, their practices and what they stand for as a company.  (Disclosure: Yes, I have been on some of these.  Yes, I do enjoy going. And, YES, I have learned more about these companies from attending.  It is not about a free trip and swag.  Do I enjoy going on these trips?  Of course I do.  A prime example is the trip I took to Hallmark.  I learned so much there and met amazing creative people.  I did have fun but more than that, I learned so much more about the company itself.   I do look into the companies when I am asked to go on one of these blogger junkets.  Just for the record.  The majority of us do not just get an invite and automatically jump for joy and attend. We attend for a reason.  We attend to hear what they have to teach us and show us about their company.)  For the record, Johnson’s did learn from the constructive criticism they received.  I worked with the PR person on this and saw it from their side as well.

Some of these women were at the forefront of mommyblogging.  They were ones that (even if the term mommyblogger made their skin crawl) fought to be heard and respected.  They are not into blogging for free trips, swag or bragging rights that they have been able to go on these trips.  They are the ones whose quality of writing brought these trips to you. (Yes, you who have been on them yourselves and enjoyed them.)   They helped show that we are powerful, useful and want to learn more about the products they may (or may not) be buying for their families.  To suggest anything else is not only inaccurate but cruel.  These women were blogging about their lives long before there was any monetary compensation or free trips involved.  Long before some of you were even blogging.

I saw and heard many women I respect personally attack these bloggers and frankly, it pisses me off in a big way.  I lost respect for women I had admired who used social media as a way to attack the attendees themselves.  What do you hope to gain doing that?  Do you think that by attacking their ethics, motivation and character makes you look more informed and a better person/mom blogger?  Well, it doesn’t.  It makes you look foolish and immature.

If you have a problem with Nestle, bring it up with NESTLE.  You want to boycott them, you go on with your bad self.  You want to tell Nestle off, do it.  It is well within your right to stand strong in your beliefs when it comes to a company and their practices.  I applaud you being an advocate for what you believe.  I seriously do admire those of you who stand up for what you believe and fight to see that injustices you hear or learn about are dealt with.

However, the moment you made it personal towards the mombloggers (and dad blogger) who went to this event, you lost your credibility.  At least with me.  It amounts to nothing more than school yard bullying.  Not to mention bullying some of the very people who have opened doors that I know you have enjoyed walking through yourself.

And, yes, I know that not all of the people who are anti-Nestle berated these bloggers. I know that.  Enough did, though, that I feel it should be addressed.

Those of you who did make it personal with these bloggers, the next time you decided to throw stones at these people, you think long and hard about what stones could be thrown at you.  Their attendance did not mean they support Nestle’s practices.  Do you know why they went?  Did you ask them what their motivation was to attend?  Did you find out if they wanted to become better informed on the issues you brought up?  Or did you assume their attendance automatically made them the bad guys?

With social media such as Twitter it is so easy to sit behind a computer and hurl your insults and make these people feel bad.  Are you using social media as a tool or as a weapon?  Think about it.

Had I been able to go, would I have gone?  Probably.  Not because I discount the research done by many bloggers on the company.  Not because I wanted a free trip. And not because I will blindly go anywhere I am asked to go.  But because no matter how much research I read from you, I want to get my own answers.  I want to see both sides.  I want to educate myself.

I am so disappointed in how my fellow mombloggers were treated personally. It infuriates me.

I fear that behavior like I saw will drag the mom(my) blogger name into the mud and shove us back into the depths of “we don’t want to hear from them” because dammit we have worked too hard for too many years to gain respect.

And, no, I am not talking about speaking out about your feelings, research and ideas about Nestle itself.  I am talking about the rude, mean spirited attacks against women I know to be admirable, respected and intelligent well educated bloggers who have done amazing things when it comes to blogging–namely momblogging.

Shame on those of you who saw fit to attack the attendees themselves.

Use your anger and your outrage over the company to open a dialogue with Nestle or use your words to educate those who do not know what you have researched.

And for the love of all things community, back the hell off of these bloggers.  They are good people.

/ end rant

Facebook Twitter Email Pinterest Stumbleupon Tumblr

The Lemonade Award- When life hands you lemons, feel free to ask for coffee…unless it is this award. Then keep it.

lemonade award Liz from This Full House nominated me for the The Lemonade Award. ( It was like ages ago but it didn’t have a time limit on it!)   I am not sure if she is telling me to go suck a lemon or if I need to lay off the Diet Coke and drink more lemonade or if she just feels sorry for me that I am did not go with her to the Cambell’s plant in Philadelphia (or on any of her trips or even to her house) even though I am in a “relationship” with Weber Shandwick here in Dallas.  Whichever, I gladly accept this award.  (Though her reason for giving it to me is because I talk funny. A girl from Joisey telling me I talk funny? cha!)

Why the lemonade award?

It is given as appreciation for those people who have shown a great attitude or gratitude this week.  It is tough to narrow it down (and not duplicate someone I know has already received it) but I can do.

I hereby award this Lemonade Award to the following bloggers:

  • Kimberly of Petroville because she has shown great strength after losing her dog to cancer. And?  She finds things to be grateful for even when she feel uninspired. I love reading her and am a huge fan. I am always inspired when I visit her site! She thinks she may have fallen out of love with blogging. Tell her not to!
  • Headless Mom because OMG…she had me at headless Barbie!  Oh, yes, she did!  I had some of the best talks with her at BlogHer and cannot wait to see her again. (And? She knows some of my secrets. Shhhhh) She rocks and headless or not, you should be reading her.
  • Karen Janet (duh! I have the flu and mistyped her name. She gets a bonus award for my stupidity!) of Caffeinatrix because she has the courage to start over online after years because it felt right.  I totally admire that.  (And?  She knows too many of my secrets, too.)
  • Jenny of Three Kid Circus because she was my former partner in crime and more importantly she always has a nice thing to say to everyone. And? She is stressed out. Give her love!
  • Shannon of Rocks in My Dryer because…wow…she is just brilliant and inspiring.  Talk about a marketing genius. She is one for sure.
  • Katherine of Raising Five because I have known her for 15 years and when I say she is as real as it gets, I mean it. She puts it out there without apology.   And? She saved my hiney on a project recently.
  • MagnetoBold because she always make me laugh.  And? She comments. What more can you ask for?
  • Slouching Mom of Slouching Past 40 because every time I read her I can relate on some level. Read her. I mean it.
  • Kristen of Mommy Needs a Cocktail because…well, who doesn’t. And? When I met her in person I wanted to take her home with me to be my real life daily friend. (And still use her shot glass she gave me.)
  • Daisy of Compost Happens because 1) She is a wonderful reader and commenter and 2) She is feeling under the weather, too.  We sick ones must stick together.
  • Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas because once I found her, I was hooked. Are you? You should be, too!

Oh, and even though this is supposed to be awarded to bloggers and not “sites”, I am still sending an honorary award to The Motherhood.  This is an amazing site for moms, moms-to-be, people who know moms etc.  It is my daily hang out and they have something for everyone.  They get the award, too!

Feel like sharing  the award? Not a problem, all you have to do is:

  • Put the logo on your blog or post.
  • Nominate at least 10 blogs, which show great Attitude and/or Gratitude! Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.
  • Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
  • Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award.

Now I am off to tag all of those bloggers. (And if I did not tag you it is because someone else did and I can’t break the rules and re-tag you. BUT…I do still love you!)

Thanks, Liz, for always making me feel like blogging and keeping it real. I shall stalk adore you forever. (And you get the award right back because…you are Liz.)

Facebook Twitter Email Pinterest Stumbleupon Tumblr

Marketing to Moms: The Good PR Firms Get the Link Love Here! (So leave your link love for crying out loud!)

When I first wrote this post praising Weber Shandwick Dallas for their amazing social media and PR departments, my only reason behind it was to show that there are some great relationships between mom bloggers and PR people.  I was a bit surprised by the number of emails and tweets etc that I got in response.   Some of you wanted to tell me all about the wonderful PR companies you have worked with.  A few wanted to share horror stories.  One person called me a sell out for “giving it away for free” just because someone asked me to share my thoughts with them.  (Dude, didn’t you read the post. I got a freakin’ donut!)

I am not going to say I don’t like to get free things and tell you all about it. (I will tell you right up front I have a not so flattering nickname when it comes to my adoration of getting products to review.)  I am not saying I don’t want to be invited on blogger trips. (For the record, I have never gone on one.)  I think those things are fabulous and a great marketing tool!  I mean, come on, let’s be real about it.  It works.   But I didn’t write it to get on some “good list” that must be floating around out there.  (Is it? Am I on it? Ha!)  I wrote it because I figured something out.

Marketing to Moms can be done and done well when both parties respect each other.

Both sides.

I have spent hours talking to some of the people I have worked with about what they need from mom bloggers and what they are trying to achieve with some of their promotions.  That was the key for me.  Now?  When I am asked to promote, review, or sample a product or service one of my first questions is “What does your client want to know?”   Do they want to know if I like their product?  If I would use their product?  If I would recommend the product but have no use for it myself?  If the product is total crap and they need to rework everything?  Do they really want the truth?  Yes, there are some out there that just want a mention.  Some–most– truly want to know what you thought about the product–good or bad.  And some are just trying to get the word out and don’t care what you do with it.  (Not that I have found many sincere ones that fall into that category.)

But in all seriousness, I loved reading about the relationships that mom bloggers have been able to form with some PR reps.  It is way more refreshing than reading about the horror stories.  Liz of This Full House (and my own blogging idol) wrote a post about my post about her post.  (Did you get that?)

I thought that I would follow in her footsteps and write a post like that as well.

Then I thought I would do something a bit different. (So she won’t accuse me of stalking and stuff.)

[Read more...]

Facebook Twitter Email Pinterest Stumbleupon Tumblr

Writing and reading and posting, Oh my!

I have a post in the works that will be my final say on BlogHer. (Yes, you may say “Oh thank the sweet Internets this is almost over.) But until it is finished (seeing as I have a ginormous amount of deadlines looming), I posted a guest post over at Vodkarella while she is on a blog-break. Yes, go and read so she does not think I am a loser. It talks about me being a klutz and all. Laugh at me. It’s okay.

And there are pictures. (But not the R-rated ones I could have posted.)

Now, seriously, go and tell her I rocked the house so I can be invited back. Go. Please. I will offer Vodka chocolate coffee thanks.

Facebook Twitter Email Pinterest Stumbleupon Tumblr

The post where I sing the praises of another writer

Do you ever (if you are a blogger) read something, enjoy it and then move along the Internet mindlessly surfing or working or doing whatever it is you do (I am not here to judge you!) and then…THEN you realize how rude you were to not say howdy, give a little link love and send people towards the writers you enjoy?

*hanging my head in shame*

I have. I do. I am a bad reciprolinker! (And yes, it is a word if I make it a word!)

I have been reading Kris over at Help Yourself for ages and never once told you about her? Bad blogger! (Someone slap my blogging hand.) Kris writes great features on her blog for the Orlando Sentinel and here I go enjoying them and never sharing her with you. And in ORLANDO! The home of my brother and his wife, my cousin and her child, and even my aunt. But do I support the town writer? No.

But today is HELP YOURSELF And Go Give Kris Some Love Day! I am serious here. Go flood that gracious woman with adoration and kudos and “Hey, Jenn doesn’t really suck!” messages.

Seriously, I do adore her. We have talked for ages and I have been a bad friend by not reciprolinkifying her blog. Ever since I took my links down (and when I say “I took” of course I mean EE hijacked) I am lost. I forget my daily reads. I wander aimlessly about the Internet moaning and wailing about my loss. Bless Kris for calling me back home to one of my favs.

Now go. Show her my love (and yours) before I get voted off the blogosphere and fall out of the good graces I have with a fellow writer.

This beach picture is just for her. Since she wanted one! AND since she will be away on vacation. I, however, will still be here cleaning. And working. And generally NOT being on vacation.

Vacation for Kris

Facebook Twitter Email Pinterest Stumbleupon Tumblr

Happy wedding day to Mir

Today Mir is getting married to the man of her dreams, Otto.  (Name changed to protect the lovebirds.) I have been invited to participate in her bridal shower by sharing a photo from my own wedding and/or a bit of advice or a quote.  In honor of their marriage, I am offering up both.

Here is a picture of that amazing day.  (Give me a break on the hair and big dress.  It was 1990–which as we all know is still the stepchild of the 80’s!)

image

I wondered what it was about this picture that I love so much.  I think it is because the moment captured in this picture is my favorite wedding moment in all weddings.  This is the moment when you know it is real.  The wedding has ended.  The planning has been taken care of.  The only thing left is to party and enjoy being man and wife.

With that I offer you this quote:

My Greatest wish for the two of you is that through the years your love for each other will so deepen and grow, that years from now you will look back on this day, your wedding day, as the day you loved each other the least.

[Read more...]

Facebook Twitter Email Pinterest Stumbleupon Tumblr

Toot toot for baby Zoot!

There is a new Zoot in town.  Miss Zoot gave birth to a beautiful baby girl (the pictures prove it!) Go over and welcome NikkiZ.

[Read more...]

Facebook Twitter Email Pinterest Stumbleupon Tumblr

Field trip day

I have been on a roll with my writing lately.  Thankfully.  (If my amazingly patient agent is reading this, you can stop your self imposed hunger strike you were forced into as a last resort in order to finally get something out of me.  Honest.  Eat, my friend.  The chapters are coming!) Needless to say, I am mentally drained and have nothing to blog about.

But, wait!  Come back.  I would not leave you without some form of entertainment. Here are some of the places I have enjoyed while “taking a break from writing” (otherwise known as surfing the net in order to keep my head from actually exploding.)

Yesterday my friend Melanie (who may have to either adopt me or marry me to solve my “urgent” name issues) got a real live copy of her finished book.  Go over there and give her a big congrats.  You’ll even be rewarded with a fabulous brownie recipe.  If you’re really nice, she may even let YOU sniff a page or two.

Did you read the touching stories over at Mommy Matters that Christine shared about being a very young bride going through her husband’s Navy sub deployment for the first time?  I have known Christine for years (from our online Moms Group).  I really loved reading this.  If you want to know what deployment is like from the viewpoint of a young wife, this really is a must read.  Part one starts here.

Moms and Dads pulling your hair out trying to figure out how to fill YET ANOTHER summer day (that I swear are MUCH longer then the school year days of a mere 24 hours)?  You should go read in awe how Mir has something scheduled EVERY week.  (This week’s fun:  SUMMER CAMP!) Oh, sure, she claims it is because she works full times so it is necessary.  Take it from this slacker mom, necessity does not necessarily mean creativity and fun times for the kids.  I would probably have my kids with a chain-smoking, whiskey drinking babysitter who works for minimum wage.  Go, Mir!  Will you adopt me next summer?  It sounds like a hell of a lot more fun than summertime here.

Of course, I would be remiss if I didn’t send you over to wish my life-twin-separated-at-birth Busy Mom a happy anniversary.  She and Busy Dad are celebrating their 15th anniversary today.  Yet one more thing we have in common.  (No, no.  I didn’t marry Busy Dad 15 years ago, too. I married this guy.)

Finally, I want to send you to a blog that I have totally fallen in love with:  Stalking Kelly Ripa. The premise is hysterical.  Kelly used to have a bookclub (Reading with Ripa) that chose enjoyable books by authors who are still living (unlike a certain book club who is only choosing the dead authors now.) Authors Natalie R. Collins and Jennifer Apodoca are the main stalkers, but they have guest stalkers as well.  I have been able to get to know some of these great stalkers writers.  Go join them in stalking Kelly.

Now then, I hope that keeps you busy for a while.  But, really, don’t forget to come back.  Seriously.  You would totally bum me out if you left me for another.

[Read more...]

Facebook Twitter Email Pinterest Stumbleupon Tumblr