Ohh Emm Geee! Look who is blogging again. Yes, I realize it is NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) but no, I am not blogging because of that. And I also know it is NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) and rather than sign up for that, I may dust off something I was working on. And, yes, it is also NaNaTaMo (Natioanal Nap Taking Month) and I most definitely will be taking advantage of that particular tradition.
Anyhooooo, I realized most of the things I would’ve normally blogged here, I have been microblogging on Facebook. However, I haven’t been on Facebook for almost a week and you know what? No one has even noticed. Facebok tends to give you a false sence of intimacy. Not with everyone but with many. Especially when it comes to my chronic illnesses and bad days. My high school friends don’t want to hear about that. Neither do the people I worked with on campaigns a year or two ago (or more). However, I will add that a couple of weeks ago when I hit a wall of pain and a very dark place and gave a shout out for help, many, many people came forward to be there to help pick me up. That meant everything to me. So, there are awesome exceptions. I may pop my head in now and then but it hasn’t missed me so why should I miss it? Am I right?
So if I am going to be here more often, I need to clean house. Basically, I have some big changes coming up for my little home here. Can you believe I missed my Blogiversary? 12 years! 12 YEARS!! Now it’s closer to 12 and a half. Nevertheless, can you believe I have been writing here for 12 years. Granted, I have been terrible about being consistent. But I need my space here to be share my thoughts freely. If you come here, it’s your choice. Unlike Facebook when I just pop up in your newsfeed, you choose to come to my home here. I am dusting her off, washing the windows, fluffing the pillows, and lighting some candles to make it smell cozy and homey. And of course, there is always coffee ready for anyone who wants some. I hope you come here and keep coming back. I have set some tough goals for myself here.
For instance, this post was supposed to be about something totally different and more personal but I backed away. I’ll get used to being open here soon enough. (Or as they call it “blogging naked.”) The things I post may not be what my old readers want to read. And, yes, that scares me. But? I have to get back to being myself. I can’t be the person some people want me to be. At least not all the time. I have changed. Chronic pain and chronic illness have changed me. I’m sorry to those friends who couldn’t handle the changed in me and had to walk out. I understand and I hold no grudges. It’s rough to have someone with chronic pain and illness in your life. I get that.
But as I write this, I can’t help but wonder if personal blogging is still a “thing” or have bloggers turned to microblogging on sites where they blog in sound bites? I guess we’ll find out. Are you ready to figure this out with me? Grab my hand. Let’s close our eyes. Now… Leap!