Have you ever had one of those moments when something is said to you
that just breaks your heart? Shatters it into a million pieces? And no matter
what is said following that comment, you just can’t put it all back together
again. Your heart lays there like Humpty Dumpty and it too has no hope of all
the kings horses and all the kings men putting it back together again. You can
get the pieces gathered up. By talking, you can slowly piece them together, but
when all is said and done, there is still one tiny fragment that is missing.
Therefore, it is just never quite the way it was. Eventually, this hole is filled. I don’t know if it heals itself over time or if something else comes along in it’s place to fill that gap. I suppose it is both.
And yet neither.
Although the heart may look healed, that one tiny fragment mattered. It made a difference. When it is changed, it is changed forever. Sometimes those changes are good. Better. Stronger. Like a patch to cover and protect. Maybe that patch makes it more beautiful. Sometimes the changes are more like scar tissure. Reminders of old wounds. More sensitive. Easily irritated. I would like to say that this happens only a handful of times, but we all know it happens much more frequently. Each of us bear the patches and the scars of words that have changed us. They make us who we are. I guess I am just learning to ride with it. To not curse the scars or try to remove the patches. They are what they are. They are what makes my heart what it is…who I am.
I hope that your life finds you with more patches than scars, though.